I wrote the following post a few months ago and revisited it yesterday. After visiting with my first memoir coach Ana, she pointed out that my essays should have double spacing and be
easier to read. When reading it again, I realized it needed more development as
well. As I worked at it, I began making more connections and the story took a
better shape. I have found that with practice, my thoughts develop more and I
see my weaknesses better. I remember reading that Ernest Hemingway rewrote one
of his works at least a hundred times.
Edith
Wharton said she had little memory of books or stimulation that
stretched
her mind, in her early years. Sounds unbelievable because she published so
many works of literature, and supported herself well on earnings from
her writings.
My attention to literature developed at a snail’s pace, as well. There is little
memory of books with any flavor that stretched my thinking.
her mind, in her early years. Sounds unbelievable because she published so
many works of literature, and supported herself well on earnings from
her writings.
My attention to literature developed at a snail’s pace, as well. There is little
memory of books with any flavor that stretched my thinking.
Sunday school
and Bible classes in summer stirred my curiosity of stories from
the Old Testament, supplemented with maps of exotic faraway places of Egypt
with the Nile and pyramids. At Christmas, the kings and wise men riding on camels
and somewhere a story of Persia and flying carpets carried me to magic places.
the Old Testament, supplemented with maps of exotic faraway places of Egypt
with the Nile and pyramids. At Christmas, the kings and wise men riding on camels
and somewhere a story of Persia and flying carpets carried me to magic places.
Elementary
school readings are not memorable except, “Dick and Jane”,
and then “Heidi”, who lived in the Alps with a grandparent. The Alps
were difficult
to imagine when I was surrounded by the flat lands Of
Oklahoma. The largest
elevation of earth was the Arbuckles in the south part of the state. Okies called
them “Mountains”. But they did not know better. The Alps were very far away.
In the third grade “Nancy Drew”, captured my attention
because she was young
and then “Heidi”, who lived in the Alps with
to imagine when I was
elevation of earth was the Arbuckles in the south part of the
them “Mountains”. But they did not know
In the third grade
and drove a roadster
through the hills and country, looking for mysteries to solve.
I guess I found her at the library.
I guess I found her at the library.
But I do
remember I found a college prep text. A previous tenant left it
behind
at my girlfriend’s house in her basement, where we sometimes
played. Betty Lou
said I could take it home. I glanced at the stories
from time to time. It was filled
with short stories and poems. I tried to read a few, but realized they were pretty
advanced for me.
at my girlfriend’s house in her
said I
with short stories and poems. I tried to read a
advanced for me.
I used the
literature text to store my movie star pictures I cut from magazines
and catalogued according to importance and then placed them
between the pages.
Viola, my first scrap book. My star pictures were
of Bing Crosby, Gloria DeHaven,
Peter Lawford, Betty Grabel, Clark Gabel, Mona Freeman, Lois Butler, Bill Holden,
Joan Crawford, Dick Haymes, and Van Heflin. The names
are barely visible, written
on the blank pages in front. They are barely familiar, as well.
and catalogued according to importance
Viola, my first
Peter Lawford, Betty Grabel, Clark Gabel, Mona
Joan Crawford, Dick
on the blank pages in front. They are barely familiar,
I’ve kept the
book since the third grade and now it sits on a shelf with
hundreds of others. Over time, the pictures slipped out and were lost.
hundreds of others. Over time, the pictures
The old book was published in 1933
and I have finally read my
favorite stories.
They include" A Ballad Rime Ancient Mariner," 'Annabel Lee", and "The Finding of
Livingston". When picking up the faded blue book in
more recent times, I’ve
They include" A Ballad Rime Ancient
Livingston". When
started the old legend, "Treasure
Island," savoring each word. I was intrigued
by "Gone With the Wind" a year later, when I moved in with my
aunty and
cousin. I didn’t read it. However, my cousin
Helen, who was my age, read
it for thirty minutes every day, while
indulging in her morning constitution.
We were only in the fourth grade and she was a better reader than I.
by "Gone With the Wind" a year later,
cousin. I didn’t read it.
it for
We were only in the fourth grade and she was a
I inherited
this same book my great aunts, Aunt Mary and Aunt Opal said,
after they read it, vividly described Atlanta, as their grandmother, who
was
my great, great grandmother, described to them.
after they read it, vividly described Atlanta,
my great, great grandmother,
She told of the horrors that she had seen
and experienced during and after
the Civil War. They were little girls when Grandmother Cornelia
talked often
of that time. But, they were so impressed they
could remember some of her
stories. They said she spent much of her time reading the big family Bible.
She talked about the War and the Bible many times.
the Civil War. They were little girls when
of that time. But, they
stories. They said she spent much of her time reading the big family
She talked about the War and the Bible many times.
Grandmother
Cornelia’s home was on a plantation outside Athens, near
Atlanta, Georgia. Her father owned numerous farms and plantations
around
the state. But after The War Between the States, as she
called it, their property
was pretty much left in shambles and much of
their wealth was gone.
Atlanta, Georgia. Her father owned numerous
the state. But after The War
was pretty
The men in the family had been gone
most of the time. When they returned,
after the War, their Confederate money was worthless. But they struggled
through
their situation for several years.
after the War, their Confederate money
their situation
Some slaves stayed on the plantation after the War and
Grandmother
Cornelia taught the ex-slaves’
children to read.
Later, after her second cousin, Captain Albert Baird returned from
the War, they married. My mother said there were not many
men around because
of the high fatality rate of the War. After Grandmother
Cornelia’s parents died,
the War, they married. My mother said
of the high fatality
she and Grandfather Baird traveled
by covered wagon, with some of the ex-slaves, to
Hope, Arkansas, to Grandfather Baird’s family. Grandfather Baird
bought a mercantile store in Hope and a farm,
outside of the city.
Hope, Arkansas, to Grandfather Baird’s family. Grandfather Baird
bought a
The Civil
War was a constant memory in my mother’s family. At least
two
generations talked of it often. Only remnants of the family stories,
pertaining
to the Civil War, remain today. Mother
remembered only a few. And I
generations talked of it often. Only
to the Civil War,
vaguely remember the stories mother
told.
It’s like
trying to hang onto a very old quilt that was used often to keep
us
warm. Over the years it became worn, frayed, and tattered.
Now, I’m
clutching a threadbare quilt that is hardly recognizable
as the same quilt that
brought comfort to those who held it.
warm. Over the years it became worn,
clutching a threadbare quilt
brought comfort to those who held it.
Over the
years, the old book I inherited, “Gone With the Wind”, barely
holds together. It is similar to the quilt. The binding came apart and
the pages
hang loose from its binding. I decided to salvage it. I taped
the binding so the
holds together. It is similar to the quilt. The
hang loose from its
pages would stay together as I now
read it.
The
old book that I’m holding together, literally with duck tape, was published
in 1938. And similar to my first movie star scrap book that held pictures of my
favorite stars, it too has pictures of Clark Gable and
Vivian Lee, who starred in
in 1938. And similar to my first movie
favorite stars, it too
the movie, so long ago.
Now, I will
hold the book so carefully. And while reading it, I will reflect
on the
stories my family told of that important time in our family’s
history. I know
I’ll never catch up on the important books that
I missed, beginning when I was
young. And I know there was “too little too early", but I will try to make up for it.
stories my family told of that
I’ll never
young. And I know there was “too little
Nice memories, Janine. I like where you're going with this post.
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