Sunday, January 22, 2012


When I finished first grade, Mom threw Teddy away.  It was like another death in
the family for me.  I missed him and remember crying for him.  I was used to
sleeping with the beige brown fuzzy Teddy Bear every night I went to bed.

He wasn’t much to look at. He wasn’t big and I could wrap my one arm all around him.  He was smashed and limp looking. But he was so soft and I was so comfortable with him. He had one eye missing. I don’t remember how long I had him, but I remember I had dolls in much better shape and newer than he looked. In fact,  I had an ice skating doll. This was in the hay day of Sonja Henie, the famous ice skating star who won the skating Olympics and starred in movies. And as pretty as my skating doll and story book  dolls were,  I loved my tattered Teddy more than all of my dolls and I  grieved for him, but no one seemed to listen.

Why did my mother throw Teddy away? As well as I remember, she said we were
moving and she had to get rid of a lot of our old stuff. We wouldn’t have room to take much. There was a  housing shortage where we were going.  Besides, she told me,  I was a big girl now.

I was also very upset about moving away from the most beautiful city I had ever
known.  I remember saying that no city could be as beautiful as Oklahoma City where there were wonderful sky scraper buildings, tall green trees with birds that sang near my window every day.  I had neighborhood friends I  didn’t want to leave and relatives who lived not too far away.  I knew I would miss it all. Looking back to those times, I think I was rather young to have such thoughts.

I lost my Teddy and it may have had an impact. Today child psychologists  tell us it’s important for babies to have a security item, be it blanket or doll, that is soft to provide comfort to them. It provides  a transition for them to calm fears and reduce stress and anxiety. Some children need them for several years depending on their circumstances. Who knows why my Teddy was so important, but it was tied to my move that depressed me.  

I refer you to an old study I used in my "Marriage and Family" course. Click on
<Harlow Studies on the Nature of Love> 

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